I've been listening to some more podcast by Real Crime Profile as I find them so fascinating and the latest podcasts have been regarding coercive control.
I find anything to do with psychology very interesting and especially this concept of coercive control. It got me thinking about how easy it is to fall into the trap of allowing someone else to control you.
As most of you know me, I'm an incredibly strong minded and stubborn person (sometimes to a fault of mine) so the thought of someone controlling me instils the fear of God into me however listening to the Podcast made me realise how easy it is to happen.
I decided to do some research and here are some of the characteristic of coercive control;
All those listed above seem pretty extreme however I imagine they very easily sneak into an unhealthy relationship (mainly thinking of Marco here!) and before you know it, you feel trapped.
The podcast actually gave some more examples of things that could happen in every day life. These are things that perhaps you wouldn't even think twice about. Here are some examples;
These probably seem quite obvious as controlling behaviours however it's very easy to skip over things, especially when you start dating someone new.
How many times have you met someone new whom you like, they might say something like 'I really like it when you wear tight jeans (or something similar)' so next time you see them, and you're decided what to wear, you may have in the back of your mind that you'll wear something tight as you know they'll like it.
These isolated things could be perfectly fine however with any form of abuse, there's usually a pattern. It's consistent. One comment maybe about the hair, next is the clothes, then it's hobbies and before you know it everything you do, you're doing to please someone else.
I love being single. I'm independent. I love having my own agenda and freedom to do whatever the hell I like. However, I know how easy it is to fall into the trap of wanting to please someone else, especially if you like them.
I enjoy writing these blog posts as I hope it helps others to see things from a different perceptive. It's good to raise awareness of these potential issues. Regardless whether you're single or in a relationship, no one deserves to control someone else. I know it's scary sometimes standing up for yourself but if you don't do it, you'll allow someone to walk all over you and that won't make you happy.