I am currently feeling massively sorry for myself. I'm usually a real trooper and just 'get on with things' however everyone knows I'm a huge wimp when it comes to pain/feeling ill.
Very annoyingly I've managed to tear my rotator cuff in my right shoulder. I had a few niggles after pole training week before last but being me, I continued with my training schedule. This included a further four pole sessions and three gym sessions - pretty foolish. It wasn't until my last pole session, Friday just gone, when I realised how badly I've hurt it.
Off I went to the sports therapist Saturday morning who after an initial examination and ultrasound therapy, he confirmed I've torn two of the large muscles in my rotator cuff - not good.
Now, I have four weeks five days and a few hours (not that anyone's counting) until Pole Theatre Amateurs UK. Make no illusions, I will be up on the stage come Saturday 24th February 2018.
People close to me know how important this competition is to me. It's not just about being up on stage competing, it's about telling mine and Dean's story.
The whole concept of Pole Theatre is very different from other competitions. The category I've entered into is Drama. In this category, you have to tell a story through your dance. I wanted to share my story of how I dealt with the aftermath of Dean's suicide. As you can understand, this is still very raw and personal to me.
Most people don't understand pole dance. They sometimes have a narrow minded view of what is it entails. For me, it's an amazing hobby which allows me to continue exercising (well when I'm not bloody injured), it allows me to push my boundaries and work on my flexibility and above all, it's allowed me to form some wonderful friendships.
When I entered Pole Theatre UK I honestly didn't think I'd get through to the live competition. It's one of these competitions that you need to submit a video entry. I worked so hard in the studio with my pole instructor, Sue from Pole and Tone Essex and she created an amazing routine for me.
We spent hours in the studio training hard and I was literally bruised, bleeding and plenty of sweat. So when she called me to say I got through, I cried!
Now a few months on and training hard again for the competition, I'm devastated that I've injured myself. I pushed my body too hard with working out in the gym and pole training alongside not eating well. I've certainly learnt my lesson.
So what now? All I know is I will 100% be on that stage come Saturday 24th February. Now is the time for me to ensure I look after my body well. I've got my shoulder strapped up. I've given myself at least a one weeks ban from all training and I'm booked into the doctors tomorrow.
Some people just continue training on an injury and that's not good. I want to continue training for a very long time so it's so important I manage this injury as well as I can. They say slow and steady wins the race, well that's what I intend to do.
Sorry to those who I've annoyed lately with my constant whining. I'm not usually this bad but please forgive me as this is so important to me and to Dean's memory. Any other competition and I probably would have withdrawn.
Hope you can all send me positive thoughts for a speedy recovery.
