Giving something up for lent

Although I wouldn't say I am particular religious (let's say I'm not a non-believer, I just haven't explored religion much), I still like the concept of giving something up for lent.


Each year I try and think of what I could give up for those 40 days (although technically it's actually 46 days including the Sundays). The first day of lent is Ash Wednesday which falls on Wednesday (funny enough) 15th February and lent will break on Palm Sunday which is Sunday 1st April.


The first thing I thought I would give up for lent was social media. This would include Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat etc. I thought this would be a really good thing to do. I use my social media accounts every day. I'm constantly updating IG with pictures of pole, random selfies and of course cute pictures of Shiloh (my fur baby).


I thought this would be a really good one to give up. It's something I use every day and so it would be a sacrifice. It would also allow me to be more tuned into the 'Real World'. Perhaps by not constantly being on my phone, I would notice more things. I could spend my daily commute reading or listening to more positive affirmation podcasts. Who knows, I could even make conversations with new people instead of always looking down at my phone.


When I told a few people about my plans to give up social media, they thought I was mad! I didn't realise exactly how 'switched on' we really are. A few people asked whether my social media ban included dating apps - now I thought they were crazy!


The social media ban was all set then I realised a slight flaw to this plan - holidays. I have Dubai booked for the end of February and Australia booked in March. There's no way I can go away and not share my experiences with others. Now, I'm sure there's a few bitter people out there whom would love for me not to share my experiences on social media, however I don't give a damn about them!


Another thing with my Instagram account is, whenever I travel I always seem to get so many locals requesting to follow me or sending direct messages. It's usually people advertising places to go out or guys trying their luck. Obviously when you're single, this is a great thing.


I've met some cool people before via IG. Obviously I'm very safe and meet somewhere public and share where I'm going with someone back home (usually my sister). Again though, it's strange how we rely on social media accounts to contact people instead of just approaching someone at a bar or on the beach.


So for obvious reasons social media is here to stay. Some of the logical things to give up is alcohol - clearly not going to happen with holidays. Smoking - well I don't smoke already so that's cheating. I thought maybe coffee? I have a coffee every day but then I've heard the coffee in Australia is really good. Plus I know I'm be a real grump if I don't have my morning coffee.


Just as I'm typing this, I've thought of something I could really do with giving up -  random online shopping. Obviously I can't give up shopping all together, I need food and even when I'm on holiday I'd like to buy gifts but so far in the last week I've bought the following;

• Three affirmations bangles (£60)
• Three dresses, leggings and trousers (£55)
• A slogan jumper (£22)
• A note book (£8)
• A kitchen (too much to share!!)
• A desert safari trip (£45)

That's not actually that bad - usually it's far worse than that! But I definitely think I have a strong contender for what to give up. And just think, with the money I'll save I can book another holiday :-)


When you google 'things to give up for lent' it comes up with the following (additional to mine) ideas;

• Chocolate/Sweets/Fizzy drinks/Meat/Alcohol
• Buying coffee/breakfast/lunch (bring home-made instead)
• Complaining/being negative
• Being sarcastic (me... sarcastic... NEVER!)
• Swearing (I can't fu*king give that up)
• Sex (Why??)

There are some good ideas out there (well not all good ideas!). I guess the whole point of giving something up is, it's meant to be hard (no pun intended). It's a time to be thankful for all the things we good things w have in our life's.


I found this beautiful quote. How very true...

I've decided to give up the unnecessary shopping. I'm going to delete Ebay, Amazon, Wish, Groupon, Wowcher all of these tempting apps from my phone. I'm even going to unsubscribe from the emails.


Even if you're not religious, you should consider giving something up for lent. It will help you appreciate the things you have so much more and who knows what else you may gain from it.

Be kind to your body, you've only got one.

Even just typing this title made me giggle. Although it's very true that you do indeed only have one body, it still reminded me of my lovely Daddy who used to have a 'spare leg' in his wardrobe. Those who know my Daddy, will understand this.


I am currently feeling massively sorry for myself. I'm usually a real trooper and just 'get on with things' however everyone knows I'm a huge wimp when it comes to pain/feeling ill.


Very annoyingly I've managed to tear my rotator cuff in my right shoulder. I had a few niggles after pole training week before last but being me, I continued with my training schedule. This included a further four pole sessions and three gym sessions - pretty foolish. It wasn't until my last pole session, Friday just gone, when I realised how badly I've hurt it.


Off I went to the sports therapist Saturday morning who after an initial examination and ultrasound therapy, he confirmed I've torn two of the large muscles in my rotator cuff - not good.


Now, I have four weeks five days and a few hours (not that anyone's counting) until Pole Theatre Amateurs UK. Make no illusions, I will be up on the stage come Saturday 24th February 2018.


People close to me know how important this competition is to me. It's not just about being up on stage competing, it's about telling mine and Dean's story.


The whole concept of Pole Theatre is very different from other competitions. The category I've entered into is Drama. In this category, you have to tell a story through your dance. I wanted to share my story of how I dealt with the aftermath of Dean's suicide. As you can understand, this is still very raw and personal to me.


Most people don't understand pole dance. They sometimes have a narrow minded view of what is it entails. For me, it's an amazing hobby which allows me to continue exercising (well when I'm not bloody injured), it allows me to push my boundaries and work on my flexibility and above all, it's allowed me to form some wonderful friendships.


When I entered Pole Theatre UK I honestly didn't think I'd get through to the live competition. It's one of these competitions that you need to submit a video entry. I worked so hard in the studio with my pole instructor, Sue from Pole and Tone Essex and she created an amazing routine for me.


We spent hours in the studio training hard and I was literally bruised, bleeding and plenty of sweat. So when she called me to say I got through, I cried!


Now a few months on and training hard again for the competition, I'm devastated that I've injured myself. I pushed my body too hard with working out in the gym and pole training alongside not eating well. I've certainly learnt my lesson.


So what now? All I know is I will 100% be on that stage come Saturday 24th February. Now is the time for me to ensure I look after my body well. I've got my shoulder strapped up. I've given myself at least a one weeks ban from all training and I'm booked into the doctors tomorrow.


Some people just continue training on an injury and that's not good. I want to continue training for a very long time so it's so important I manage this injury as well as I can. They say slow and steady wins the race, well that's what I intend to do.


Sorry to those who I've annoyed lately with my constant whining. I'm not usually this bad but please forgive me as this is so important to me and to Dean's memory. Any other competition and I probably would have withdrawn.


Hope you can all send me positive thoughts for a speedy recovery.

Simple Life = Single Life?

I am starting to draw the conclusion that if you want a truly simple life, then remain single. I know that sounds like such a negative outlook but if you look around you, how many people are truly happy in their relationship?


I'm not saying all relationships are bad. I've got some lovely friends who I rate as my "couples goals". Not because they wear matching t-shirts and take those annoying pictures of holding hands then the girl looking back at the camera, no they have true "couples glory" because they work well together as a team.


One thing I've learnt from the whole dating experience is, you need to be fully happy with yourself and your life before you should ever get into a relationship. If you're not true to yourself and honestly happy and content with your life, then how can you put that pressure on someone else to create happiness for you?


I am very blessed with my life. I have a great family (ok annoying at times but still great), lovely friends (a good mix bunch), I have a brilliant job, gorgeous big house, I get to travel, I have my health - I truly do have everything I need for a happy life. I think the issue doesn't lie with what I need but with what I want.


I am at a stage in my life where I am ready to settle down and take the next steps (i.e. serious committed relationship and babies). It has taken me a long time to get to a stage where I honestly am ready to start a family.


You see these foolish teenagers having children (one springs automatically to mind) who doesn't have a stable job, isn't earning enough money and probably isn't in the most secure relationships (if any relationship) and yet they bring a life into this World.


I'm not saying you need to be earning loads of money to have children, love doesn't cost a penny however you do need to be fully grounded yourself to be able to offer the love, stability and guidance children need.


Since Dean passed away in 2011, I've had relationships (those guys that have lasted six months +) with three men. The first was with S whom moved into my house within two months, used me for money/car then proceeded to cheat on me - at least twice.


Next up was N, lovely guy who was going through a divorce at the time of us dating. He seemed like the perfect gent, told me he loved me after three weeks (which I foolishly believed) and then six months later decided he wasn't over his wife and needed space to grieve the relationship.


Finally (save the best till last!) was M, the affectionate and passionate Italian. The younger guy who had only had one relationship before me. The guy who adored me from the first date (and that first date was awful). It was one of those magical hindsight moments where I wish I had trusted my gut instinct and run for the hills.


No instead I invited him into my home (AGAIN!), and as soon as he was there boom - he wasn't going anywhere. The fool proposed to me after four months together, I (being an even bigger fool) accepted but as soon as that ring was on my finger, he's true colours came through. The manipulative, possessive, narcissistic, gambling/drug addict was there.


As you can see I have questionable abilities to choose men to date. That's why I like to mix it up a little and try and date different types of guys to see whether they'll be better suited. The latest guy was wonderful, a true gent however sadly that didn't work out for reasons beyond my control. However it now lands me firmly back in the single pool.


I am a very matter of fact person. The last guy broke up with recently and I'm obviously upset but I accept it's over and time to move on (again!). So I download the usual apps Tinder/Bumble/POF and I swear to god, each time you go back to these sites - they get worse.


I met S on POF and that seemed fine (except for the cheating obviously). N I met at work (which was so much better) and M I met on Tinder (Why did I download that again?). I've had loads of messages and so far I've been asked to be in a cuckold relationship (I had to google again what that meant - no thanks!), I've been invited around to a guys house right away where I just say him on Instagram kissing another girl (who was just in her underwear) and of course I've had the standard requests for nude pictures (come on dudes just google that sh*t!). Actually let me clarify, if you google that sh*t you won't find naked pictures of me but plenty of other girls which I'm sure is fine for their needs.


So as you can see, guys are kn*bs. Again, I'm sure it's not every guy but apparently it's the ones I seem to attract. Of course, there's lots of guys out there that are lovely, gentleman who would treat me very well no doubt but we all have our attractions and sadly it's usually those guys who I'm not physically attracted to.


When you're dating, it feels like you take on the role as a Detective. Some people call it stalking, I prefer the term research. You honestly can't be too careful these days so if I see a guy I like to look of on one of the apps, I screenshot his picture and put it into an app called Veracity. It basically searched the internet to see if that image is displayed elsewhere. It's a way of discovering catfish - and believe me they are real! It's ironic to say that lol


Next up is if the conversation is going well and they want to switch to chatting on what's app, I ask for their number first and right away I google search the number. That sounds crazy but again it's a way of seeing if the person is up to anything dodgy. I also search in Facebook for the persons number. Again if they've linked their number, it's a way of seeing if their profile is hiding a wife/girlfriend.


I appreciate I probably sound crazy right now but you I honestly don't care. I have caught out these catfish, I've caught out guys who's girlfriend has literally just given birth and I've caught out the married men.


This sadly is the modern age dating we live in. It's hell! You have to really be one tough cookie to survive. Thankfully I've dealt with a lot on life so being dumped or cheated on isn't the worse thing. What a horrible World we must live in for me to even write that and that appear normal?


I think of being single and I think of all the positive things. I have my freedom, I travel whenever and wherever I want, I sleep starfish in the bed, I can wear a crappy sports bra and mis-matching underwear, I can go a few days without shaving my legs. Ok, some of those are good valid reasons and others a little silly.


Then I think about relationships and try and weigh up the good with the bad. No relationship is ever perfect, it doesn't exist. And you know what, it would be bloody boring. However, wouldn't it be nice to find that one person who you want to annoy forever?


Ok, it's not just about annoying forever, for me I want to find my equal. I want to find the man who has also had good and bad life experiences. Someone with a positive attitude who respects that life doesn't always go to plan but accepts life for what it is. I want to find someone who accepts me for who I am and doesn't want to change me at all. I want a friend for life.


This all sounds wonderful so where do we find this guy? I know people do meet their life partners on these dating apps but how nice would it be to simply bump into someone on the train or in the supermarket? In actual real life.


People say when you stop looking for something, it simply finds it's way to you. I do believe that. Pressure isn't good for anyone but equally it's so important to put the right message out there to the universe.


I hugely believe in the laws of attraction. I believe if I want something so badly, I can manifest it into my life. But people need to remember this works both ways. If someone keeps thinking of themselves as overweight, then they'll never create themselves to be a healthy weight. Positive thoughts attract positive things.


The title of this blog is asking whether to have a simple life, do I need to be single? The answer is no. If I want a simple life, I need to see my life as already being simple. Simple is very much under rated. There's too much stress and negativity in the World already. Let's flip that on it's head and create the simple life we all desire.